


Maybe Things Will Work Out Better This Time

by stellacadente



Series: Dreams of Empire [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: A bunch of silly AUs, Alternate Universe, Dramatis Personae, F/M, a little sex might be mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 18:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6764581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellacadente/pseuds/stellacadente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bunch of silly AU starters for my Sith Warrior, Xhareen, and her crew</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sith Warrior Barista AU

**Xhareen** – reluctant owner of Coffee Furious, a struggling indie coffee shop/hangout in a newly anointed hipster neighborhood in Kaas City, recently bought out by Starbucks, the Eternal Corporate Empire. Former professional wrestler and sometimes karaoke star. Surprisingly single.

**Vette** – barista by day, hacker by night, sometimes the opposite, sometimes both. Xhareen sucks at scheduling.

**Broonmark** – her oversized Golden Retriever/Kuvasz, shop mascot and guard dog. Always smells like wet dog, but is loving af.

**Pierce** – ex-Imperial military, owns the blaster repair shop next door, but seems to hang out in the coffee shop all day. Loves coffee a bit too much if you get my drift.

**Baras** – CEO of Starbucks, which ends up buying out Coffee Furious. Wants to introduce line of boring, thawed-out/reheated pastries to all Starbucks-owned facilities. Loves gourmet pastries an awful lot, though.

**Malavai Quinn, CPA** – ex-Imperial military, sent in by corporate to get CF’s house in order. Does not like coffee, or so he thinks. Somewhat surprisingly single.

**Jaesa** – Refugee, talented but inexperienced pastry chef. Gets hired and immediately wants to improve upon the new pastry menu.

**2V-R8** – Official greeter, dishwasher and equipment repair droid. Makes the best coffee of anyone, always gets complimented, but is convinced he’s going to be scrapped anyway.


	2. High School Teacher AU

**Xhareen** – girls’ physical education teacher and volleyball coach. Has been lobbying to have title changed to “Women’s PE teacher” to no avail. No one seems to remember she also has a master’s degree in finance from a prestigious institution. Several male students have lobbied to institute co-ed gym class.

**Vowrawn** – school principal. Entirely possible he secretly videotapes volleyball practice and football workout room.

**Vette** – Computer science teacher, suspected hacker. Vowrawn too afraid of what’s on his hard drive to pursue action against her, though.

**Jaesa** – English teacher. Gets hired and immediately wants to change curriculum to better reflect women and POC writers. Has been relatively successful at doing so, much to her surprise. Someone keeps slipping notes into her mailbox about instituting teachers’ book club.

**Pierce** – boys’ PE teacher and football coach. Has been lobbying to get into Xhareen’s pants to no avail. Recently bought a Kindle; Vette also helped him register on Goodreads.

**Malavai Quinn** – brand new math teacher, Ivy League educated, dreamy but aloof. Still, a noticeable uptick in students registering for Algebra II. Wonders who keeps slipping notes into his mailbox on topics such as teaching Time Value of Money as practical application of math that students might find useful.

**Broonmark** – school mascot. Or the janitor. No one seems to know. Or care. Students rub his head before exams for good luck.

**Baras** – School district superintendent. Suspicious of excellent test scores at Vowrawn’s school. Secretly plotting to eradicate school board and name himself Schools Czar. Keeps copious files on predilections of state legislators.


	3. Sith Warrior Hospital AU

**Xhareen** – Newly named head of the emergency department at St. Revan’s Hospital. Youngest ever to hold that post. A never-ending font of energy and dedication, ready and able to be exploited by cheapskate administration. No one seems to remember she graduated top of her class from Stanford. Has recently realized it’s been nearly a year since she’s had sex and she can’t remember with whom. Where is a little fuzzy, too. Needs some coffee.

**Vette** – Nurse by day, hacker by night. Since she started working at the hospital, an oddly large number of poor patients have had their bills paid in full by “Mysterious Strangers.”

**Baras** – Hospital chief administrator, who wants to be CEO and Chairman of the Board. Keeps detailed files on all employees. Suspicious about the good financials, esp. of the emergency department, which caters largely to the working class and poor neighborhoods in the area. Surprisingly supports plan to station his best surgeon, Dr. Quinn, in the ER.

**Malavai Quinn** – Brilliant surgeon. West Point undergrad (top of his class), Harvard medical grad (top 5), served two tours at various Combat Support Hospitals before his career was derailed when he refused to perform an unregulated and highly dangerous procedure on an important military leader. Hired by Baras, but has been unable to find a better position elsewhere since. Constantly reviewing the hospital’s statistics and financials. Excited by the prospect of laying, um, of laying waste to, um, fiscal waste and needless loss of life by the new “surgeon in the ER” program.

**Pierce** – paramedic, ex-military medic. Strangely, all his runs seem to end up at St. Revan’s, but no one seems to mind. Likes the coffee. Hates Quinn.

**Jaesa** – Newest resident, came from prestigious overseas university program. Gets hired and immediately comes up with a plan to station surgeons in the ER, which Dr. Quinn surprisingly volunteers for.

**Broonmark** – Hospital janitor. Or maybe a security guard. No one seems to know, or mind. He always shows up with coffee. 

**Nomen Karr** – recently stepped down as CEO after a mental health crisis, or sex scandal, depending on who tells the story. Current whereabouts unknown.

**Vowrawn** – Hospital board chairman, former politician, now retired. Has a grudge of unknown origin against Baras; insists next CEO will not be “yet another human with discolored skin who hides behind a mask and wears operating gowns all the time.” This despite wearing a gown himself at all times. No one’s sure what that means, exactly. Also surprising, since neither he nor Baras were ever doctors.

**2V-R8** – Leftover from a failed experiment with robotic surgery performed by anthropomorphic androids. Convinced he’s going to be scrapped; however, Xhareen keeps him around to entertain young patients with his comical inability to juggle. Also an excellent translator.


	4. Sith Warrior Punk Band AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first single, Anarchy in the DK, was never released but remains the most downloaded song on the dark holonet.

**Xhareen** – Lead singer of Rampaging Fury, a formerly struggling punk band in a less than trendy Kaas City neighborhood. Classically trained at a prestigious university, but after serving a tour in the Imperial war effort, she couldn’t find a job, even teaching. A recent solo performance caught the eye of Dark Council Records (DCR), a subsidiary of the biggest entertainment conglomerate in the Empire. The band now has a contract and whole slew of new responsibilities. Has a moderate amount of groupies.

 **Vette** – Lead guitarist, maintainer of equipment, probably hacker. Was mysteriously able to negotiate cheaper download prices for band’s recordings compared to the competition, making her an immediate underground icon. She calls her axe* “Spewie.” Used to have groupies; they keep disappearing.

 **Jaesa** – Republic defector and classically trained keyboardist. Was hired and immediately suggested band move toward more death metal sound. Xhareen vetoed, much to other bandmates’ chagrin. Has the most groupies.

 **Malavai Quinn** – Newly appointed by DCR to be band manager, once held a VP position with the record company, but left under mysterious circumstances. Ha ha, you thought I was going to make him an accountant again. He does have an MBA from Wharton’s Kaas City campus, though. Top of his class, naturally. Surprisingly has groupies. Not sure what that means, though.

 **Pierce** – Bassist, ex Imperial Marine, sometimes also bouncer. He got da funk. But he hates Quinn with a writhing passion. Told _Rolling Durastone_ magazine his disregard for authority is what drives him. Sleeps with the most groupies.

 **Broonmark** – Drummer, when he can be found. Earned the job when the previous drummer disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Not surprisingly, has the fewest groupies. Has kind of a crush on Vette.

 **2V-R8** – Percussionist, occasional drum machine if Broonmark is sleeping off a bender. Has a large droid fangroup.

 **Baras** – DCR executive who desperately wants to be CEO. He appointed Quinn as the band’s manager as a requirement of the contract. Zero groupies.

 **Vowrawn** – on DRC’s board of directors, was Malcolm McLaren in another life. (Google it!) Has almost as many groupies as Jaesa.

 

 

* _for you younguns and non-Americans, a nickname for guitar, occasionally other instruments. Ask your parents._


	5. D&D Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on my 3.5, Faerun and Pathfinder playing days. Also, weaponized dice.

**Quinn** : DM. Because of course. Might not be the most exciting storyteller, but always has entire module memorized, has beautifully illustrated DM screen he rarely needs to look at. Knows everyone’s stats and feats. Produces multiple 3D play sets that belong in a museum. Every player’s mini looks exactly like them with the correct weapon. Prefers GURPS, but defers to group’s desire to play D&D instead.

 **Xhareen** : Human Fighter. Two-handed swords, of course. Has oversized chain mail bag of dice, but not a single complete set of the same dice. Spends half hour arguing with Quinn that she shouldn’t get an offhand penalty. Loses. Passes all her d4s to Vette.

 **Vette** : Halfling Rogue. Has eight different matching sets of shiny, gemlike dice, to rotate when one set gets cold and starts rolling crap. Places d4s on Quinn’s chair when he’s not looking. Every game. He falls for it, every game.

 **Jaesa** : Half-Elven Paladin. Not sure if she wants to be Lawful Good or Lawful Evil; redoes character sheet three times. Spends first half hour of game arguing with Quinn about a side mission to reform the kingdom. Everyone’s OK with that because she brings the best snacks. 

 **Pierce** : Half-orc Barbarian. Because every party needs a brick and he’s OK with that. Insists he should get two bonus points to put into CHA. Loses that argument. Buys box of d4s for Vette.

 **Broonmark** : Not really into it, insists on being Tiefling druid. On paper, worst concept ever. Somehow makes it work. Crits every time he casts Fireball. Saves party at least once a session from TPK. Cosplays his character every session. Brings own snacks no one else wants.

 **Revan** : Somebody’s stoner roommate who swears all systems after 2nd edition are utter shit. Claims to have 1st edition module signed by Gygax.

 **Vowrawn** : Owner of the tavern where the heroes meet up on a dark and stormy night.

 **Baras** : Wants to be the Big Bad. Not the Big Bad. Tries to blackmail DM into killing the Fighter. Randomly knocks over everyone’s pieces like annoying cat. Disappears somewhere in the third act.

 **Valkorion** : The other annoying roommate who claims he doesn’t want to play. Spends entire session whispering how to play in everyone’s ear.


End file.
